Welcome to the Infinite Nothingness of Death
“Man, talk about how not to engender excitement and pull the reader into the fold. Do you have any other news you want to share to kill the day?”
In all seriousness, folks, today I want to dive deeply into the realization of our ultimate dissolution, and why you should spend time daily living within this space. Let’s get into this one, as it is going to be fun.
To say that I was prepared for the moment when the thought of my impending demise first visited would be to give me too much credit. I was both floored and shell-shocked, to say the least.
Anger and resentment also lurked beneath the surface with the thought that I did not sign up to play the game on these terms.
Whose Rules Anyway?
Why take away what felt genuine and pure? The reality of a future lost sought to cheapen and render pointless the amassing of anything of worth.
While other kids were watching movies and playing the game of life, I found myself having a moment of unparalleled realism. These were the terms of the game, and there was no option to say, “Take your ball and shove it.”
You did not come into the world; you came out of it. — Alan Watts
My vision of what it meant to die did not evolve much from that time to the present day. Whenever the thought crept up and got the better of me, all I could see was Michael trapped in the blackness of infinite nothingness, completely devoid of voice and connection but having all the memories of what once was and forever now was no more.
A state of eternal languishing, wanting to reach but never quite able to touch and reclaim the feeling of a connection if only a brief second. The sense of isolation is probably one of our most painful feelings as physical beings.
We were not designed for the solo journey, not in life and not in death. For this reason, we run from the thought of what it means to enter this void. However, this final stop on the journey is the one destination that we ALL must reach.
Embrace Death to Embrace Life
Lately, I have been doing a very curious thing. Some would call it bizarre. I only know it as liberation. The idea of “Die before you die” was introduced to me (see the Power of Now by Eckart Tolle), and I have gone boldly into this space with all the excitement and amazement of any explorer.
To “Die before you die” is to willingly entertain one’s death, watching each layer of the identity you so desperately cling to dissolve and to stay here for a while in deep contemplation. First, the body vanishes, then your thoughts, and then nothing.
Poof, you are no more
However, a very curious thing happens once you settled into this thought experiment. You realize that the infinite nothingness that was once dread is the source from which you stepped out and entered the world of the manifested known as “I.”
What you see is that there is no separate “I.” The very thing that you fought so desperately to maintain, this collection of millions of atoms, was never really YOU as an isolated form. We are indeed the sum of all I’s. Is it any wonder that we all answer to the same name, otherwise known as “I,” a word whose usage is not bound by geography, language, or culture.
We are all I. What a blow to the ego.
Ah, perfect timing for a metaphor. Take a wave in the ocean, for example, or a whirlpool in a stream. Both of these forms are expressions just like you and me. But having form alone does not imply separateness. The wave and whirlpool are not distinct from the fabric from which they emerged to take shape.
Indeed, they are the fabric itself. And so are we in this game call existence. It is the ego that tries to convince us that we are these isolated beings who can fall into this void we now speak of at a moment’s notice and therefore must be persisted at all cost.
The ego employs thought to try to achieve this very goal. “Just keep thinking. You better not stop.” The ego uses thoughts of future concerns and past regrets as false armor. It seeks out anything and everything to remain distracted from the present moment, the one place that the ego cannot survive as stated by Eckart Tolle.
So here we have it, from birth we are tricked to live a lie that wants us to believe that we are nothing more than our individual collection of thoughts in mind form.
Become Liberated in the Thought
Once you realize that the void is what gave birth to your present form, the idea of returning to this space is no longer one of debilitating horror.
Like any duality, life and death are the two faces of the same coin known as existence. This clarity provides a sense of liberation and allows us to deepen the thought experiment.
Why are we here?
The one question that everyone whispers. The answer that speaks to me comes from Neale Donald Walsh, who explains that we are here so that universe may know itself. We are the vessels through which the light of the universe shines and expresses itself.
And how do we do that? By co-creating with the universe. By taking that which comes to and through us in the form of ideas and manifesting them for the world to see.
Like any explorer, you arrived at the end only to realize that all of our worry, concern, and trepidation was misguided energy. The same vacuum that you were quivering with fear to return to was the source from which you came.
The fabric of existence plays the game of life and death. And once you know this, the only question left to ask is, “What do you do when there is nothing left to do?” The previous article reconnects us to the gift of childhood in the form of play. Let go of the thought that you have something to lose. Let go of the feeling that you must wait one day to be complete before you can live. You are already whole. Now go and play life with vigor.